


please, please, tell me, cuz i need to know

by thesweatersong



Category: Be More Chill - Iconis/Tracz
Genre: Confessions, Hugging, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Miscommunication, OCD, Post-Squip, a lot of crying, christine is just over the phone lol, this is supposed to be kind of silly/funny but also is an actual story
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-02
Updated: 2019-02-02
Packaged: 2019-10-20 17:36:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17626649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thesweatersong/pseuds/thesweatersong
Summary: Michael and Jeremy were having a fun day at the mall, when Jeremy is confronted with something he doesn't know how to tell Michael. Michael is just trying to be a good friend while pretending it's the 90s.





	please, please, tell me, cuz i need to know

**Author's Note:**

> okay, so weezer's "the blue album" is sort of a notable part in this, because i am a nerd, but it makes sense even if you've never heard a weezer song before. i didn't remember until after having written this that in the book, michael did like weezer, i just like incorporating my own interests into things, haha.
> 
> also, jeremy is supposed to have ocd in this story (i have ocd and i really feel like it would make sense for jeremy to also deal with it) but since the story is from michael's perspective, you only see what michael sees, which isn't much. i made jeremy's compulsions pretty different from my own, though, so i promise i'm not just projecting B) also, in retrospect, i make him cry, like, WAY more than i needed to, lol.
> 
> the title is from weezer's "jamie." i really hope you enjoy this!!

Jeremy holds out a t-shirt with a brightly colored MTV logo, showing it to Michael.

“Look, dude! We’ll match! It’s like, retro!” Jeremy says. He looks so excited. It made Michael feel warm inside to imagine Jeremy picking out a shirt with him in mind, but he tried ignoring that.

Michael smiles and shoves Jeremy jokingly. “You’re so dumb,” he laughs, “Just kidding. It’s actually really cool.” 

“I, uh, I got it at Rue 21, when you were stocking up on gross old soda,” he tells Michael. They had spent the Saturday at the mall doing various things. Michael had picked up some New Coke. (He wasn’t getting Pepsi products anymore. Just in case.)

“Don’t knock my old soda, man. It has the power to save the world.” Michael answers, smiling at Jeremy. “Literally!”

Jeremy laughs as they both slide into food court chairs. “Yeah, I think I might be starting to believe the 90s really were the greatest generation.”

Michael gives him finger guns. Then, they both hear a ring from Michael’s ancient Nokia phone. Jeremy deadpans, “Okay, I take back the whole ‘90s were the best generation’ thing,” when he sees Michael’s gnarly but inconvenient phone.

Michael, ignoring Jeremy’s anti-90s comment, answers the call. “Hello,” he says, then grins. “He’s doing great, I think. Wait, hold on…“

Michael puts the phone against his chest and whispers to Jeremy, “It’s Christine!”

Jeremy nods and Michael continues. “She asked about you, also, she told me to tell you that Nokia’s are cooler and better than modern smartphones."

“She did not…” Jeremy mumbles as Michael raises the phone to his ear,

“Back!” Michael says to Christine, then hits speaker. “I put you on speaker so your boyfriend can hear you, too,” Michael jokes.

Jeremy’s hands tap up and down on his jeans, which is a thing he does when he’s nervous, along with counting to ten, to make himself less nervous, Michael was told.

Christine’s voice bursts through the speaker. “Oh! You’re together! Hi Jeremy! I have incredible news! I got the lead role in ‘Vampunzel!’

Michael starts congratulating her, but she interrupts with, “Also, Jeremy isn’t my boyfriend anymore.” 

Oh. Jeremy stops tapping and squeezes his hands together, staring at the table for a few moments before abruptly standing up and darting away,

“Jeremy!” Michael exclaims. “Uh, Christine, I got to go,” he tells Christine hurriedly, then rushes after Jeremy. 

“Hey, Jer, c’mon man,” he calls to his friend. Michael sighs as he follows Jeremy through the food court. So, Christine and Jeremy are broken up. Michael wonders why. He also wonders why Jeremy didn’t just tell him. 

“Stop- Stop following me!” Jeremy insisted when there were less people around. They were nearing the bathrooms. Michael figured that’s where Jeremy would be going. He shrugged.

“Alright, I’ll wait here,” he said, and leaned against the bathroom hallway wall. He slipped his headphones over his ears and pulled up his hood. Boundaries, he thought. Jeremy might need space right now, time to clear his head. It really isn’t a big deal that he isn’t dating Christine anymore. But Jeremy sees things differently. He gets overwhelmed. No big deal. It’s just Jeremy, Michael rationalizes. He’s trying to not feel hurt that Jeremy didn’t come to him. 

Michael sighs. (Again.) Maybe he should go in and check on him. He will, Michael decides, when this song is over. It’s a good one.

Soon enough, ‘All Star by Smash Mouth’’s last “only shootin’ stars break the mold” fades out, and Michael lowers his headphones. His puts his hands into his hoodie pocket and walks into the bathroom. 

“Jeremy? You good?” He calls through the bathroom. He doesn’t get an answer, which he expected, so he looks at the stalls and sees Jeremy’s converse under the door of one of them. He knocks, five times, because Jeremy likes things in increments of fives when he’s panicking. Uh, hopefully he isn’t panicking. 

“Hey, Jer,” he says, quietly, “I’m not going to be pushy. Take your time in there. But also, I’m your ride, so I do have to get you home and all.” Also, there’s no way he’s leaving Jeremy alone and possibly upset at the mall again, he doesn’t say. Nope. No way. 

“…And I’m your best friend, so you can talk to me, you know.” Michael tells Jeremy. He hates when Jeremy gets like this. Not because he doesn’t like dealing with it, he doesn’t mind at all, but he hates that Jeremy has to feel the way he does. He does his best to just be chill, er, cool about things that Jeremy does in the best ways he knows how. Jeremy nods, but Michael doesn’t know that, because he can’t see him. “Tell me when you want to go back to my car.”

Jeremy pushes open the door. Was he crying? He looks around, confused.

“Where… Where’s my shirt?”

Crap, Michael left it on the table in his hurry.

“We’ll grab it on the way. No biggie.”

Jeremy nods (again^2.) They walk back through the food court, and Michael picks up the Rue 21 bag where he left it.

In attempt to make conversation, Michael says, “It really is a cool shirt.” Jeremy nods (again^3.)

Michael kept trying. “Um, I bet Christine will do great as Vampunzal.” Hopefully this won’t be a day where Jeremy stops talking. He was having fun this morning.

Jeremy nods (again^4.) 

“Dude, you know I hate exponents,” Michael says.

“Wait, what?”

“Uh. Nevermind.”

Well, at least that got Jeremy to say something. Michael and Jeremy reach the mall’s exit and Michael pushes the door open into the parking lot. Jeremy follows him until they reach Michael’s P.T. Cruiser: A two door, bright red car with a built in cassette player (in the place where most normal people’s cars have a CD player.) They get into the car. Jeremy, once he’s inside, closes his door twice, which is normal, but then he does it again, making it four times, then again, making six. Then he stops. Michael doesn’t comment. Instead, he turns on the car stereo. It was in the middle of Weezer’s ‘The Sweater Song’, because cassettes aren’t like CDs, where you can easily skip to the beginning of songs, and they listened to the first half of the album on the drive to the mall.

“Weezer released a new album Thursday,” Michael told Jeremy.

“I know,” Jeremy said back. 

“Oh. Cool.” Michael looks straight ahead. He starts up the car. Neither of them say anything, and the electric guitar plays on.

Michael doesn’t know whether to ignore what made Jeremy upset or bring it up. He doesn’t want Jeremy to shut down or freak out, but he has this feeling that if they don’t address it, it won’t get talked about. They’re already in this weird place friendship-wise: they’ve made up, and talked about stuff, and have been hanging out a lot, but the intimacy they had before the Squip isn’t the same. And Michael really misses it. Maybe he should just go for it. “So. Christine. You guys broke up.”

Jeremy looks down. Tap, tap, tap…

“I’m- I’m sorry for, for not, telling you, I was-wasn’t trying to… to…“ Jeremy tries to say, but stops. He’s still tapping. The last minute of ‘The Sweater Song’ is a mess of guitar and other sounds, not really part of the song, but Michael can’t skip it because cassettes, but it doesn’t matter because it probably fits for Jeremy’s mind right now.

“Jeremy,” Michael says, “I’m not mad at you. Just… talk to me.”

Jeremy’s eyes well up. “I-I know, I want to talk to you, but it’s too hard and I can’t, I can’t tell you, there’s something I have to tell you, Michael-“

“Jeremy, it’s okay, hey-“ Michael puts his hand on Jeremy’s shoulder. Michael seriously hopes this isn’t about the Squip. “You can tell me anything.”

Jeremy shakes his head. “I can’t.”

“Why not?” 

“B-because, I-“ Jeremy starts to say, but before he can finish, he starts crying. Michael feels like “Why not” wasn’t the greatest thing to say. He brings Jeremy into a hug, which is sort of awkward in a car, but…

Jeremy sniffles into Michael’s shoulder. “M’sorry,” he says, through tears. He’s really crying now. Did Christine break up with Jeremy and he just isn’t taking it well?

Michael pats the top of Jeremy’s head, then starts running his fingers over his hair. “It’s cool. Try and breath, man.”

He lets Jeremy ride out his cry. The song is now switching to ‘Say it Ain’t So’, which is good, because ‘Surf Wax America’ doesn’t really fit this situation. Eventually, Jeremy calms himself down and pulls away, sitting back against his seat. 

“I- I think I can explain things now.” 

“Okay.”

Jeremy takes a deep breath. “So, me and Christine aren’t dating anymore. But we weren’t even really dating that much anyways.” He’s tapping his hands, again, but it seems to be helping him stay calm. “Uh, what I mean is, even though we said we were together for a while, we weren’t- uh- we weren’t really-“

“Doing anything?” Michael offers.

“Yeah. Well, I mean, we never 'did' anything in the first place, but, yeah. Uh, so we talked about it, and some other things, and thought maybe we shouldn’t be dating anymore.”

Jeremy looked like he was focusing extra hard on what he was saying. Michael didn’t think he wasn’t telling him the full story. Also, for some reason it was a relief to hear Jeremy say that him and Christine didn’t “do” anything.

“Well, I’m glad it was mutual. I got worried that you were upset about her dumping you, or something. Also, I guess it would explain why she called me to tell me about her lead role.”

Jeremy sort of smiled. “Hah, no, no dumping. She called you because I already knew, because I’m in the play. She said she wanted to tell you herself.” 

“Right. That makes sense.” 

Jeremy doesn’t say anything. The song is now ‘In The Garage.’

“This is a good song, dude.” Michael says, then starts singing along. Jeremy smiles. 

Michael laughs. “You know the lyrics to this one,” He tells Jeremy, trying to get him to sing along too, then continues singing.

“I know the lyrics to every song on this album, because you play it constantly.” Jeremy says. Michael exaggeratedly mimics playing the guitar. Jeremy doesn’t sing with him, but he does laugh, which is good too. 

Now that the awkwardness mostly dissipated, Michael tried casually bringing the conversation back to serious stuff.

“So, is that what you needed to tell me?”

Jeremy’s smile fell. “Uh. Yeah.”

Michael didn’t think so. “Are you sure?”

“Yeah, it, it doesn’t matter.” Jeremy answers, buckling his seat-belt using the sleeve of his cardigan.

Michael shrugs. “You’ll tell me eventually.”

He pulls out of the parking lot and starts driving Jeremy home. They listen to the music, not talking. The album will be finished soon, Michael thinks. Only two songs left. Michael is fighting the urge to ask Jeremy if whatever he’s worried about has something to do with the Squip. He also tries not to think about Jeremy feeling that he can’t talk to Michael about things. Knowing Jeremy, he could very well be making a big deal about something that doesn’t matter, but he could also be underestimating something bad. Is it something to do with Christine that he isn’t saying? He did get weird when she called. And, like, running off when she said they broke up was kinda over the top, even for Jeremy standards. But what-

“Do you really want to know why I freaked out earlier?” Jeremy said, suddenly, breaking Michael’s train of thought. The music was not playing, meaning the cassette probably just ended.

“I- Yeah, I would.”

“I like someone else,” Jeremy tells Michael, hurriedly.

Is that seriously what Jeremy couldn’t tell Michael? “Oh. Um. What’s her name?”

Jeremy didn’t answer.

“You aren’t going to tell me?” Michael said, hurt. He was getting kind of annoyed.

“I- It’s- not a girl. I don’t like a girl. I like…” Jeremy took a shaky breath and closed his eyes, “I like a guy.”

Michael slowed down the car. That was unexpected. His annoyance was gone, and in its absence, he was left remembering his stupid feelings for Jeremy. Stop it, Michael, it’s ‘be-there-for-your-friend’ time.

“Aw, dude. You… You know I support you no matter what, right? Like, it’s cool. You’re always gonna be my best friend, and…” Michael pauses while Jeremy nods and wipes his eyes, then continues, “I love you, man, you know that.”

Jeremy sounds like he started crying again. He has done that a lot today, it seems. “You’re being- You’re being sappy.” He said, covering his face. Michael wishes he wasn’t driving right now so he could hug Jeremy until he died, which is a stupid thought that he should not be having.

“I am not being sappy! I’m being a good best friend. Oh, and, uh…” Michael says, wondering who it is Jeremy likes, “you don’t have a thing for Rich, do you?”

“What? No! Michael, oh my god,” Jeremy says, looking up at Michael and laughing. 

“I mean, no judgement, I just-“

“Dude, no, I don’t like Rich.”

Michael smiles. “Okay. So, if not Rich, then…”

Jeremy looks straight ahead. He’s tapping his hands, and his feet, but that goes without saying at this point, because he’s been doing it almost constantly. If this next crush is anything like Christine, then Michael will be hearing about him a lot. Why is it taking Jeremy so long to just say it? They’re on his road already, where not many cars go by, because if you keep going it’s a dead-end.

“Michael, I…” Jeremy starts, quietly, then scrunches up his eyes like he’s bracing for impact, “it’s you.”

Michael swerves the car, then stops it. Oh my god.

“What?” Michael says eloquently. Oh my GOD.

Jeremy has his eyes closed as tight as possible. “I can’t say it again. That’s why I got all weird at the mall today, why me and Christine didn’t work out and I was going to tell you but I couldn’t so when she called I panicked and, and,” Jeremy got quiet again, “please don’t be mad at me.”

Michael laughs, in shock. “I would never be mad at you- did you- did you say what I think you said?”

Jeremy covers his face with his hands. “I’m really sorry, I know it’s weird, I-“

“Jeremy,” Michael stops him, “It’s not weird, it’s awesome, we should celebrate, like order a pizza and watch Back to the Future and get-“ 

“Stop making fun of me,” Jeremy says through tears.

“I’m not, I was being serious, Jeremy.” Michael says, and takes Jeremy’s hands into his own. “I’m sorry, I was just excited, but,” he takes a breath, “I like you too, dude. Like, a lot.”

Jeremy looks up at Michael. “You’re kidding,” he says, incredulously.

Michael shakes his head. “I’m not kidding.”

“I don’t think I deserve that.”

Michael hugs Jeremy as hard as he can. “Yes, you do, Jeremy.” Were they both crying now?

Jeremy hugs Michael back. “You’re the best person I’ve ever met. I don't know what I'd do without you, you mean so much to me, Michael, I love you so much, I-" Jeremy rambles, then takes a deep breath. He said 'I love you!' 

Michael feels like he’s being lit on fire, but, like, by admiration and love for his best friend. “Now you’re the one being sappy,” he teases. "I love you too."

Jeremy’s hair is so soft, and this is so nice, and why couldn’t they have done this sooner, and man he’s so lucky that this is all Jeremy was worrying about and he really loves him so much, so he pulls back and looks at him and everything is quiet and he leans in and Jeremy’s closing his eyes and-

 

“HOOOOOONK!!!!!” blares a truck from behind them. They both startle and frantically put their seatbelts back on, remembering that oh right, they are, like, in the middle of the road. Michael quickly hits the gas and continues driving. 

Jeremy is crying again, but this time it’s from laughing too hard. Michael looks frazzled. "Stop laughing,” he says, but he doesn’t mean it. 

After about a minute of laughter, they reach Jeremy’s house.

“Wait,” Jeremy says, excitedly, “Is the whole celebration thing still an option?” 

Michael smiles. “Dude, of course.” They still have a lot of things to talk about regarding the two of them, but that’s alright. Michael turns his car around, and Jeremy presses rewind on the cassette player. “We can even drink the New Coke.”

Michael tells Jeremy all about the history of New Coke until the tape is fully rewinded, and even though Jeremy’s heard Michael talk about it before, he’s smiling, and he's not even tapping or counting or anything. Then, even though Jeremy’s heard this cassette one million times before, he clicks play, and this time both of them sing along.

**Author's Note:**

> thank you for reading!! i know a lot about weird, retro things, (more than any high schooler should,) so writing some of that into this was very cool. also, michael's nokia phone is supposed to be the waterproof one from the 90s. 
> 
> this was my first (typed) fanfiction, and first story in a really long time. i hope that wasn't too obvious, lol.
> 
> i would love to read comments!!! also, i am totally down for any constructive criticism!!


End file.
